A letter to future me

Dear future me,

I am writing to you from 2019 with the hope that, you will read it after few years.

How are you?

I am ok so far with 25 years old me. I should confess that sometimes it is very hard to bear me.

You should be 30 now. How does it feel?

Are you still emotional and fragile?

Have you had so many failings and disappointments? I bet you have had.

Are you still complaining that people don’t understand you?

Have you found “somewhere you belong”?

I haven’t found yet… I am still feeling lost… Still feeling in wrong place…

How about books? They still should be essential part of your life. Most of the time you read them to be away from madding crowd, although you don’t confess it.

To be 30 years old… At the age of maturity, age of understanding the world and discovering yourself. I know you haven’t understood world yet. I hope you have discovered yourself. At least…

I can’t stop myself comparing me with 5 years before me. When I was 20, I used to think that I am done with life. I know who I am and who I am going to be.  You think that how stupid I was…

Are you laughing, right?

Just 5 years later, I am also laughing at myself. Where is my confidence? Where is my trust?

At 25 I feel lost in an endless labyrinth. I feel in a puzzle which missing parts can never be found.

You are still laughing…from 2024. I can see your smile, I mean my smile. Nothing has changed except few wrinkles around your mouth. You still smile with half-closed lips. It is your favorite.

I am scared to ask about love. Do not tell me that you have failed.

Aren’t you tired of thinking about others and sacrificing your priorities?  

I hope you have stopped judging and blaming yourself.

I hope you have created the best version of yourself.

I hope you still remember me: younger self. Younger, less experienced, full of mistakes…

I hope you have picked up all your broken pieces.

I hope the best for you. I really do…

From Younger Me,

With love…

3th December 2019.